100 Days of Summer & 100 Stupid Tourist Questions
For the next 100 days of summer, I will post a daily quote of tourist stupidity.
These quotes have been compiled from the adventure, service and restaurant industry
employees here in Interlaken, Switzerland and provide a hilarious daily ode to our jobs!
I’ve asked them, you’ve asked them, we’ve all asked stupid questions, but now it’s time to make light of them!
These quotes have been compiled from the adventure, service and restaurant industry
employees here in Interlaken, Switzerland and provide a hilarious daily ode to our jobs!
I’ve asked them, you’ve asked them, we’ve all asked stupid questions, but now it’s time to make light of them!
1. "Which mountain is the Swiss Alp?"
2. "Are there seat belts in the raft?"
3. "One bacon and egg roll please.We are out of eggs. "So I'll have an omelet?"
4. A girl is in line to bungee jump and asks, "Does it actually feel like you're falling?"
5. "How long is happy hour?"
6. "What are the avalanche catchers for?"
7. "So a triple room is for three people?"
8. "I am so glad this is a fresh water canyon because salt water dries out my skin."
9. (In reference to an accommodation booking form) "There are only 3 boxes for nationality? How do I abbreviate 'American'?
10. "Are Swiss Franc's used all over Interlaken, or only part?"
11. "Those must be the expert skydivers because they can stay in the air much longer." (Referring to paragliders)
12. "Will I get wet if I go river rafting?""
13."Are the bathrooms closed? No, why? Well I just tried to go into one and it was locked. Uh, someone is probably in it."
14. "Does the fish and chips come with chips?"
15. "Does that cloud come here everyday?"
16. "Do these stairs also go up?"
17. "Will the ATM only give me bills or can I get coins as well?"
18. (In reference to paragliding)"I want my wife to make parachute with me. She can't. There are only two harnesses.
1 pilot and 1 passenger. No problem. I can hold her."
19. "If I take a bus to the train, is it free to get up the mountain?"
20. "How much is a half franc worth?"
21. "Why is that mountain white?"
22. "Where do the homeless people live?"
23. "Do the mountains close on Sundays?"
24. "Does the ATM only give notes or do I get coins too?"
25. "What lake do we go rafting on?"
26. "What does 'Switzerland' translate to in English?
27. "Do Swiss people celebrate July 4th?"
28. "Will I be able to speak English most places I go in Australia?" (Sent by an Ozzie friend)
29. While traveling in France, a foreigner asked a French sales assistant..."How much is this shirt in real money?" (Referring to USD instead of Euro's)
30. "Does the rafting trip end the same place it begins?" (Um...not unless rivers go in a circle)
31. "Are mountain bikes included on the mountain bike trip?"
32. "Is that a cloud?"
33. (when handed the plastic goggles for skydiving) "Is this an oxygen machine?"
34. "How much is the paraglide for one person?" I respond, "170 Swiss Francs". "So how much for two people?"
35. "Was there a big accident here? There are accident flags everywhere?"
36. "Why is it so expensive here? Does Switzerland have oil?"
37. "How far is the park?" "5 minutes walk." "But how long will it take?"
38. "What part of Australia is in England?"
39. Receptionists asks, "What's your nationality?" Guest responds,"WHT...you know, white."
40. "If I take a bus to the train, is it free to get up the mountain?"
41. "How did you get a European passport?"
42. "Wow, look at the snow blowing off the mountain!" (It's actually a cloud...)
43. "Where does USA go on the envelope when you write your address?"
44. "Is there a tour for base jumping?"
45. "Are these fresh water canyons? Because salt water dries out my skin."
46. "Where do I catch the train? Here (referring to the hotel) or at the station?"
47. "How do I know when the dryer is done?" (Referring to a hostel clothes dryer)
48. "So when we go sledding, how do we get down the mountain?"
49. "How do you get a passport?"
50. "I want to go paragliding, but I don't know how to swim."
51. "Since Australia is in the Southern Hemisphere, which direction is North?"
52. "Do they speak English in Australia?"
52. "Where is Latvia? Is it a Latin country?"
53. "How do I drive from Oahu to Maui (Hawaii)?"
54. "Is Swiss National Day (August 1st) celebrated all over the world?"
55. "I brought a fruit and nut granola bar from the U.S., do I need to claim it on the food portion of a customs form?"
56. "Who performs at the circus in Piccadilly?"
57. "Is the Grand Canyon man-made?"
58. "Why do I need to remove my shoes? Do you think there's a bomb in there sonny?" (Said by a feisty geriatric woman to the young security guy at O'hare Airport)
59. "How do I get from Paris to France?"
60. "How far above sea level are we?" (Asked on a cruise ship)
61. "Are there any good hikes around?" (Uh you're in the Alps buddy...there are A LOT of good hikes around)
62. "Will I get wet if I go snorkeling?"
63. "Do you know of any undiscovered ruins?" (Asked to a tour guide near Machu Pichu)
64. "How long is is 90-mile beach?"
65. "Does the ocean go all the way around the island?"
66. "Was this man-made?" (Asked at the Grand Canyon)
67. "Do you celebrate Christmas in Australia?"
68. "Can you engrave sweatshirts?" (Asked at a souvenir shop)
69. "Has the 2 o'clock paraglide already left?" Desk Girl replies, "No, because it's only 1 o'clock".
70. "Do you watch tennis in Europe?"
71. "Do they make the ice for the ice climbing?"
72. "I really want to stay in India for a while but my visa only lasts 3 months." Another one suggests, "You should get a Master Card, mine is valid for 2 years."
73. "Can I take a taxi to Jungfraujoch?" (One of the tallest mountains in Switzerland)
74. "Do we finish the same place we start?" (Asked about river rafting)
75. "How long does it take to cross the bridge from Australia to New Zealand?"
76. "What happened to the other half of Half Dome?" (Yosemite National Park, USA)
77. "What time is the midnight buffet?" (Asked on a luxury, cruise ship)
78. Passenger: "Why is the ship rocking?" Attendant: "The waves in the ocean sir."
79. Passenger: "What is caviar?" Waiter: "Fish eggs, sir" Passenger: "In that case, I'll have two, over-easy!"
80. "Can you see the equator from the air?"
81. "Can you tell me who performs at the circus in Piccadilly?"
82."I have a question about a famous animal in Australia, but I forget its name. It's a kind of bear that lives in the trees?"lives in 83. "Will we be able to see kangaroos in the street?" (Asked by a tourist in Melbourne, Australia)
84. "Do you speak Islam?" (Uh, Islam is a religion, not a language)
85. "Do they mow the tundra in Alaska?"
86. "Do people from India speak Indian?"
87. "How many fjords to the dollar?"
88. "How many knots does the ship get to the gallon?"
89. "Does the crew sleep on board?" arnival C
90. "How do they get power all the way out here? (Cruise Ship)
91. "How many hours practice does it take to become a base jumper?
92. "What's the address of the river?"
93. "Who washes the glaciers?"
94. "Where are all the eskimos?"
95. "What is the glacier powered by?"
96. " At what elevation does an elk become a moose? "
97. "So it's eight kilometers away... is that in miles? "
98. "What time do they turn the Northern Lights on?"
99. "What happens to the ice burgs after they melt? "
100. "I know it's a long flight but how is it that I take off at 10am in Sydney and land at 10am in Vancouver on the same day?"
2. "Are there seat belts in the raft?"
3. "One bacon and egg roll please.We are out of eggs. "So I'll have an omelet?"
4. A girl is in line to bungee jump and asks, "Does it actually feel like you're falling?"
5. "How long is happy hour?"
6. "What are the avalanche catchers for?"
7. "So a triple room is for three people?"
8. "I am so glad this is a fresh water canyon because salt water dries out my skin."
9. (In reference to an accommodation booking form) "There are only 3 boxes for nationality? How do I abbreviate 'American'?
10. "Are Swiss Franc's used all over Interlaken, or only part?"
11. "Those must be the expert skydivers because they can stay in the air much longer." (Referring to paragliders)
12. "Will I get wet if I go river rafting?""
13."Are the bathrooms closed? No, why? Well I just tried to go into one and it was locked. Uh, someone is probably in it."
14. "Does the fish and chips come with chips?"
15. "Does that cloud come here everyday?"
16. "Do these stairs also go up?"
17. "Will the ATM only give me bills or can I get coins as well?"
18. (In reference to paragliding)"I want my wife to make parachute with me. She can't. There are only two harnesses.
1 pilot and 1 passenger. No problem. I can hold her."
19. "If I take a bus to the train, is it free to get up the mountain?"
20. "How much is a half franc worth?"
21. "Why is that mountain white?"
22. "Where do the homeless people live?"
23. "Do the mountains close on Sundays?"
24. "Does the ATM only give notes or do I get coins too?"
25. "What lake do we go rafting on?"
26. "What does 'Switzerland' translate to in English?
27. "Do Swiss people celebrate July 4th?"
28. "Will I be able to speak English most places I go in Australia?" (Sent by an Ozzie friend)
29. While traveling in France, a foreigner asked a French sales assistant..."How much is this shirt in real money?" (Referring to USD instead of Euro's)
30. "Does the rafting trip end the same place it begins?" (Um...not unless rivers go in a circle)
31. "Are mountain bikes included on the mountain bike trip?"
32. "Is that a cloud?"
33. (when handed the plastic goggles for skydiving) "Is this an oxygen machine?"
34. "How much is the paraglide for one person?" I respond, "170 Swiss Francs". "So how much for two people?"
35. "Was there a big accident here? There are accident flags everywhere?"
36. "Why is it so expensive here? Does Switzerland have oil?"
37. "How far is the park?" "5 minutes walk." "But how long will it take?"
38. "What part of Australia is in England?"
39. Receptionists asks, "What's your nationality?" Guest responds,"WHT...you know, white."
40. "If I take a bus to the train, is it free to get up the mountain?"
41. "How did you get a European passport?"
42. "Wow, look at the snow blowing off the mountain!" (It's actually a cloud...)
43. "Where does USA go on the envelope when you write your address?"
44. "Is there a tour for base jumping?"
45. "Are these fresh water canyons? Because salt water dries out my skin."
46. "Where do I catch the train? Here (referring to the hotel) or at the station?"
47. "How do I know when the dryer is done?" (Referring to a hostel clothes dryer)
48. "So when we go sledding, how do we get down the mountain?"
49. "How do you get a passport?"
50. "I want to go paragliding, but I don't know how to swim."
51. "Since Australia is in the Southern Hemisphere, which direction is North?"
52. "Do they speak English in Australia?"
52. "Where is Latvia? Is it a Latin country?"
53. "How do I drive from Oahu to Maui (Hawaii)?"
54. "Is Swiss National Day (August 1st) celebrated all over the world?"
55. "I brought a fruit and nut granola bar from the U.S., do I need to claim it on the food portion of a customs form?"
56. "Who performs at the circus in Piccadilly?"
57. "Is the Grand Canyon man-made?"
58. "Why do I need to remove my shoes? Do you think there's a bomb in there sonny?" (Said by a feisty geriatric woman to the young security guy at O'hare Airport)
59. "How do I get from Paris to France?"
60. "How far above sea level are we?" (Asked on a cruise ship)
61. "Are there any good hikes around?" (Uh you're in the Alps buddy...there are A LOT of good hikes around)
62. "Will I get wet if I go snorkeling?"
63. "Do you know of any undiscovered ruins?" (Asked to a tour guide near Machu Pichu)
64. "How long is is 90-mile beach?"
65. "Does the ocean go all the way around the island?"
66. "Was this man-made?" (Asked at the Grand Canyon)
67. "Do you celebrate Christmas in Australia?"
68. "Can you engrave sweatshirts?" (Asked at a souvenir shop)
69. "Has the 2 o'clock paraglide already left?" Desk Girl replies, "No, because it's only 1 o'clock".
70. "Do you watch tennis in Europe?"
71. "Do they make the ice for the ice climbing?"
72. "I really want to stay in India for a while but my visa only lasts 3 months." Another one suggests, "You should get a Master Card, mine is valid for 2 years."
73. "Can I take a taxi to Jungfraujoch?" (One of the tallest mountains in Switzerland)
74. "Do we finish the same place we start?" (Asked about river rafting)
75. "How long does it take to cross the bridge from Australia to New Zealand?"
76. "What happened to the other half of Half Dome?" (Yosemite National Park, USA)
77. "What time is the midnight buffet?" (Asked on a luxury, cruise ship)
78. Passenger: "Why is the ship rocking?" Attendant: "The waves in the ocean sir."
79. Passenger: "What is caviar?" Waiter: "Fish eggs, sir" Passenger: "In that case, I'll have two, over-easy!"
80. "Can you see the equator from the air?"
81. "Can you tell me who performs at the circus in Piccadilly?"
82."I have a question about a famous animal in Australia, but I forget its name. It's a kind of bear that lives in the trees?"lives in 83. "Will we be able to see kangaroos in the street?" (Asked by a tourist in Melbourne, Australia)
84. "Do you speak Islam?" (Uh, Islam is a religion, not a language)
85. "Do they mow the tundra in Alaska?"
86. "Do people from India speak Indian?"
87. "How many fjords to the dollar?"
88. "How many knots does the ship get to the gallon?"
89. "Does the crew sleep on board?" arnival C
90. "How do they get power all the way out here? (Cruise Ship)
91. "How many hours practice does it take to become a base jumper?
92. "What's the address of the river?"
93. "Who washes the glaciers?"
94. "Where are all the eskimos?"
95. "What is the glacier powered by?"
96. " At what elevation does an elk become a moose? "
97. "So it's eight kilometers away... is that in miles? "
98. "What time do they turn the Northern Lights on?"
99. "What happens to the ice burgs after they melt? "
100. "I know it's a long flight but how is it that I take off at 10am in Sydney and land at 10am in Vancouver on the same day?"
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